To Truly Know A Person, You Need A Heart-To-Heart Talk

Mi'kail Eli'yah
15 min readJun 18, 2019

To Know A Person, You Need A Heart-To-Heart Talk, Not Just Face-To-Face

Relationship should be transformational, not transactional. — Stephen Covey (October 24, 1932 — July 16, 2012)

Two monologues do not make a dialogue. — Jeff Daly

2 persons can use the same word with totally 2 different meanings and values to themselves. — 2011–11.16

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. — George Bernard Shaw (July 26, 1856 — November 2, 1950)

Questions direct the focus and set the frame. We draw answers from the questions we ask. We can even frame a situation or set it towards a direction based on the questions we narrate.

Questions connect humans socially and neurologically. The act of questioning creates provocative Zeigarnik effect. Questions discover and uncover the hidden. They are functional to build critical and evidential information for us to understand the components, relations and connections of systems and situations. They give us sights and insights to things, and they lead to decisions, and when shared — co-decisions. When people work together to form ideas and understanding, they build evidential trust and relationships.

Questions also sets and steers mind states. Diffused and focused questions direct diffused and focused mind states. It affects what we think, why we think and how we think. Creating emotive questions changes the human biological responses inciting and creating actions.

The word 'sincerity' comes from the Latin 'sincerus', which literally means 'without wax'. In ancient times, unethical pillar carvers used wax to mask their mistakes or to hide flaws in the marble. Only after many years of weathering did the wax fall out to reveal the deception practiced by the long-gone carver. Thus, a sincere person was 'without wax', or uncamouflaged."""
There are too many ways and words to cause misunderstandings when people speak. Some people do not speak from their heart. That's the cause of all the conflicts in the world. - The Swordsman (笑傲江湖, movie, 1990)
In the absence of tone within electronic communication, everybody would imagine the worst…
Mi'kail Eli'yah