The Un-making of Monsters
Over the years, an old riddle haunted me on the defines of free-will (volition) and self-will (encraty). This riddle came to an intermediate revelation when my mother taught me the 2 reasons why we should have hope in people. The stories of the people I met puzzled and disquieted me deeply. Gradually, it came clear to me that the naive Hollywood style of `good guys versus bad guys` story had pre-conditioned the social superstition of our time. This hints a dangerous tale of dichotomous thinking. We are haste to condemn these monsters — but rarely do we seek to understand and condemn how they are made.
If we were to at least do the bare minimal to trace the root causes of psychopaths and sociopaths, the main causes are mainly sociological rather than biological; and the fact that we don’t, points to our apathy and hints the problem.
Well-refined children — tomorrow’s safer and happier world. — Ursa
“I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.”
― Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child“Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood.”
― The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self“Experience has taught us that we have only 1 enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood.”
– 14 April 2010, Saint-Rémy de Provence, France), The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self“Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation, and those whose souls are murdered will murder.”“Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child.”- Alice Miller (12 January 1923 – 14 April 2010)Monsters are not born, they are made, and they can be unmade. - 2018-02.01
The Parable of One Night in October
The Thin Line Between The Criminal and The Criminologist
In 1 of the episodes of “Fringe”, episode “One Night in October”, Olivia Dunham, an agent from Fringe division, was assigned on a case requesting assistance from another Fringe division from a parallel universe to help locate John McClennan, a highly intelligent serial killer who had claimed more than 20 victims, by drilling into their skull, and murdering them by freezing their brains from the inside.
The parallel Fringe division suggested to see if they can apprehend Olivia’s universe’s version of John with the hope that that version will make a mistake to have rein in his arrest over there and learn more about the John in their universe which will lead to his arrest on their side. They were surprised to find out that in Olivia’s universe, John is a professor of forensic psychology who specializes in serial-killer profiling instead. Hence, the 2 divisions change their approach to seek Criminology Professor, Dr John, for his help to understand the similarity as well as to examine and profile Criminal John.
Criminologist John was led to examine the last known residence of Criminal John to try to deduce and track down his possible whereabouts. Criminologist John was kept in the dark about the existence of the 2 universes. Given the pretext of the secrecy of the case, the criminal site was redacted and he was transported to the parallel universe through the Machine Room bridge in the state of sedation.
During the examination, Criminologist John became suspicious that many aspects of the home’s owner match his own. He stated that the house owner was envious of people who were happy. When Criminologist John finds a picture of his father, a farmer, he realized something was amiss and stormed out. The Fringe division had to explain the situation. Upon discovering the truth of the parallel worlds, he revealed a dark past of his abusive childhood, and explained how it could have led to Criminal John. Criminologist John did experience homicidal intent, but he attributed a change in his life that made that difference.
Olivia Dunham: In this universe, some things are the same, and some things aren’t. People make different choices … and therefore, they end up in different places. . Criminology Professor, Dr John: This is like a nightmare … I don’t just understand him, I am him … you don’t tell anyone your secrets … There is no mistake that I do what I do. I want to understand myself. I want to help people like me. Fauxlivia (parallel universe version of Olivia): Have you acted on your (homicidal) instincts?Criminology Professor, Dr John: No.Olivia Dunham: What stopped you?Criminology Professor, Dr John (bows his head and smiles in comfort): Not ‘what … “who”. She helped me find small moments of peace. Moments that I can hold on to …. I wished I can tell him. Olivia Dunham: Tell him what?Criminology Professor, Dr John (weeps): That it does not have to be this way, and there is a way. He just had no one to teach him. Olivia Dunham: John, he cannot know you exist. There is no other role for him.
Criminologist John escaped the Fringe division and headed towards Criminal John where he knew where he might have been, where indeed, he was found in the midst of handling another victim. Criminal John’s method was to plug the victim’s head in a machine that allows him to directly connect and experience the victim’s happy memories but ultimately killing the victim.
Criminal John and Criminologist John reconciled on their existence on 2 sides of their universes. They shared their past and found the juncture of their divergence of fate. Criminologist John was rescued by a woman named Marjorie, who understood his violent nature and escapades of killing animals, but chose to love him and to bring him up her way.
Criminology Professor, Dr John: I was playing carnival games, and I saw him (John’s father) coming, and the moment I saw him … Criminal John: That is my life. That was what happened to me … (paused) … it was the `ring toss` that I was playing. Criminology Professor, Dr John: ya, me too. Criminal John: I hid …Criminology Professor, Dr John: … behind the bandwagon wheel …Criminal John: … but he found me …. grabbed me by the collar with his nails bit into my neck, and dragged me home and beat me for 3 days straight. Criminology Professor, Dr John: … not me …. I ran … as far and as long as I could. I woke up in a field, and this woman was standing over me … her name is Marjorie, and because of her, I don’t have to do what you do. (pointing to Criminal John's murder equipment)
Marjorie reminded Criminologist John of hope and goodness, and that he can choose the better. Her phase, “Even when it’s the darkest, you can step into the light”, became a cue for him to subdue his violent urges.
Criminal John, enraged with envy, knocked out Criminologist John, and connected him to the machine to extract the vicarious experience.
The Fringe division finally converged to the hideout. They found both the kidnap victims alive, but Criminal John overwhelmed with shame, regrets and grief, committed suicide.
Criminologist John, rescued, was returned to his universe. Upon recovering from the trauma, the incident left him the absence of the memories of the parallel universe as well as those of Marjorie, though he still remembered what she said to him, begging the question if he would remain his former self.
If we know how they are made, we will know how to un-make them.
This tale serves as a satirical, tragic parable which sets the model for us to create that paradigm. This provokes the question if humans are mere subjects of their situation and context, and/or the extent they can act out of their own context. If people are born in a different place, in a different time or Zeitgeist, they would be the product of a different outcome. This also forms the base of our Gestalt Holodeck Analysis.
可怜之人, 必有可恨之处. 可恨之人, 必有可怜之处.
(kě lián zhī rén, bì yǒu kě hèn zhī chù. kě hèn zhī rén, bì yǒu kě lián zhī chù.)
The pitiful must have a detestable cause. The detestable must have a pitiful cause.
受暴者终究会成为施暴者 : The victim of violence will eventually become the perpetrator of violence. If we know this sociological mechanism, why don’t we care enough to stop teaching them how to manufacture violence? We can snuff out the amber before we complain about the forest inferno."""
Childhood is 1 of the loveliest gifts of God bestowed unto man. Nothing can compensate for the loss of it. - 2002-07.19A childhood with no integrity and dignity, and universal empathic distress for sentient creatures, stems the nascent of weeding social decadence. - Re: Cuddle against cudgel, 2004-07.19
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When The Ghosts of Past, Present, and Future Knocks
An Inspector Calls, a play written by English dramatist J. B. Priestley, depicts an unexpected visitation of a man calling himself Inspector Goole to the family of the Birlings in the town of Brumley.
Arthur Birling, a wealthy factory owner and local politician, celebrates his daughter Sheila’s engagement to a rival magnate’s son, Gerald Croft. Present are Arthur’s wife, Sybil, and their son, Eric, who has a drinking problem the family cleanly ignores. Arthur preaches on self-reliance and expounds on the bright future of the family, specifically the glory of having his name among the list of Birthday Honours.
The evening is interrupted for the investigation on the suicide of Eva Smith. Her diary named the members of the Birling family. Goole presents a photograph of Eva to Arthur, who acknowledges that she worked in one of his mills. He describes her dismissal some months ago for her involvement in an abortive workers’ strike, but denies responsibility for her death.
Sheila too recognizes Eva and admits to have contrived to have her fired from her department store job over an imagined slight. Sheila confesses to the real agenda of her jealousy towards Eva’s beauty and youth.
Gerald recalls having met Eva under the alias of “Daisy Renton” in Palace Bar, to whom he gave money to. Goole discloses that Gerald had made Eva his mistress and had given her false promises of a better life before abruptly forsaking her. Disgusted with Gerald, Sheila returns the engagement ring. Gerald protested that it is what every man would do.
Goole turns to Sybil, and identifies her as the head of a women’s charity to which Eva, pregnant, desperate and destitute, had been turned away for help. Sybil denies any wrongdoing, and pushes the blame instead on the drunkard Eric. Eric breaks down and admits to being responsible for the pregnancy, having forced himself on Eva after a drinking spree at the Palace Bar. He had stolen funds from his father’s business to support Eva and child, but she refused the loot. It was then, Eva had to turn to welfare assistance, which Sybil had turned her away from. Arthur and Sybil, outraged by the tension, dissolve the evening into angry recriminations.
Goole’s examination reveals that each member of the family had contributed to Eva’s despondency and suicide. He reminds the Birlings that actions have consequences and that all people are intertwined in one society.
Doubting the identity of “Inspector Goole”, Arthur calls the chief constable. He made another call to the infirmary, and they confirmed no recent cases of suicide been reported. The family is relieved and concludes the visit as a fraud. As they celebrate their delight, the play ends with a telephone call, taken by Arthur, who relays that a young woman, by the name of Eva, has died of suicide, and that the police are on their way to question them.
我不杀伯仁，伯仁却因我而死 (wǒ bù shā bó rén, bó rén què yīn wǒ ér sǐ)
“I did not murder Bo Ren, but I am the indirect cause of Bo Ren’s death.”
The monster has many faces in this satirical parable, and it can be conceived under the sin of omission, as well as sin of nescient commission, aside being created by the sin of willful acts of evil as the means we commonly know. It tells a chilling reminder that no one is innocent, and everyone is responsible. As Goole left the house, he warned — “If men will not learn that lesson, then they will be taught it in fire and blood and anguish”, as an allusion to the impending WW1 in that fateful tale. In our reality, how often do we inadvertently become one of the faces in that house of Birling? None of the Birlings had their hands untainted with the blood of Eva and child.
The Laplacian Demon Versus The Laplacian Angel
The Theorem of Loving Mr X
We work one more step forward from the Gestalt Holodeck Analysis, and conjecture on a Gestalt simulation for Synthesis in the same manner. As the common person may be understood in accordance in terms of their `feelings`, we may model human as an organic machine. Where we can quantify and model as accurately the mechanics and dynamics, we can work on engineering the intervention. Thereby, we work on the human’s facility and faculty, understanding their principal functions or the lack of it.
If we are able to install the enabling logic modules by their basis of motives and motivations, and as the working parts can come together as a system, we may ensure that those functions will generate the outcome. Effectively, the human emotional engine is engineered to be well-built, and well supplied. The current psychological modeling are poorly formed or even lacking. Lacking a proper working framework, we will not have the remediation strategies, i.e. on how to repair it, replenish it, as well as to assure self-sustenance.
Even if the models are incomplete, we can still make intervention to affect the subjects’ context in different ways to tune and atune Test Subjects towards a more favorable outcome. This would be Phase 3 of the work which to date (year 2020) we are still working on. The idea is to derive quasi Laplacian Oracle as an device to reach an optimal outcome, and thereby attaining an optimal version of ourselves collectively.
“οὐδὲν χρῆμα μάτηῳ γίνεται, ἀλλὰ πάντα ἐκ λόγου τε καὶ ὑπ’ ἀνάγκης” (“Nothing occurs at random, but everything for a reason and by necessity”)
— Concept of the Laplacian demon
To be fair, this is a conundrum sociologists are wrestling with for decades. As difficult as us trying to empathize, sociologists and psychologists (such as Dr Alice Miller and Dr Alfred Adler) dedicate their whole life studying it.
As I tried to explain the same phenomenon using a quasi Laplace Demon Model, I walked through a Holodeck Mental Experiment with a friend.
N: I am selfish.Me: What if I can prove you are selfish contextually, and you have an altruism you have no control over?N: I don't believe that.Me: Let's try a mental experiment. Given a situation if your child is dying of a heart problem, his/ her life is limited to merely 2 weeks, and you realize that I am the only person with a heart that can save your child, will you have an intent to plot my death for it?N: I can't deny I would.Me: Now, what if the person with the heart that can save that child is you.N: I would give him/ her my heart.Me: So that proves your will to save the child at whatever cost.N: Yes, that is because it is 'my' child.Me: I understand, but let's take it 1 step further, and let me prove you will do it for anyone.N: That can't be true. I am absolutely sure about that.Me: Yes, but I have found a paradox, but using a will that you have no control over. So strong and powerful, it rules and determines who you are. Now, let this child be variable x.N: I will only do for my child.Me: And if I go back in time, and switch that child with another, to the extent, you do not detect, will you do the same?N: ... yes ...Me: And if I go back in time and bring myself in the child form and replace x, and you cannot detect, will you do the same?N: yes.Me: There was lesser hesitation, because from our real situation, I am your friend, but let's examine closely, by juxtaposing the scenarios. You are willing to kill a dear friend in 1 scenario to save another dear friend (which is replaced into variable x) in another scenario, and even to discount your own existence to save variable x. Aren't you well controlled with no free will to be subjected to an altruism programmed into you?N: You got me.- Re: Loving X, 2009
We are really the same variable in the different context of the equations we are subjected to that govern us. — Ursa
Hitler had bullies during his young life. His father, who was of Jewish descent, was abusive through his forming years. When he was in the army, he was teased and bullied. When he was shot in the groin by a French soldier during World War 1, the doctor who treated him was Jewish. He made fun of Adolf and nick-named him “the screamer”. Adolf later became homeless, and lived on the street. As a starving artist, he was even exploited by rich Jewish patrons who were the few that could afford luxury in a broken economy. Adolf would look wistfully at people with money walking into the shops to buy food. No one helped him. He was neglected, abandoned and brutalized. People created Adolf Hitler into what he became. He could had been prevented even before he got involved with the Nazi party.
When Kim Jong-Un came into power, upon the reveal of his identity, his teachers in Sweden unhesitantly condemned him. Yet rarely, we did not question how these teachers actually missed and bungled that chance to save the world. Not a single person condemned those teachers of their incompetence instead. Had the teachers taken their sacrosanct vocation with greater devotion, our world would be a much safer and saner place today.
Interviewer: How could Mary Poppins this story come out of the cold heart of P L Travers?Emma Thompson: ... because inside the cold heart is the wounded child.
- Re: Saving Mr. Banks (2013)
Rabbi: Given all the resources from the Divine, how would you solve the Hitler problem?
A: Conduct a fool-proof, multiple-pronged “The Eagle Has Landed” operations on Hitler before Germany could recover from WW1.
B: Never allow Nazi party from taking over the parliament.
Ursa: Go back in time and bring him up all over again myself.
Rabbi (smiled): Why, Ursa?
Ursa: Hitler was not the cause. He is only a symptom. He still is today.
People think of exorcising demons. Why rarely people think of atoning them? Rarely people think of the roots and seeds of the phenomenon. Is clear thinking so rare? — Re: Atonement, reconciliation and “超度”, 2018–04.14
You condemn Medusa, but do you know her story?
The Matter of Justice
Justice is part the sanity of our social ecology. Unfortunately, most people do not comprehend on the danger of its compromise. In any unfairness, the moment we chose to divorce ourselves from upholding the integrity, we already become part of the atrocity through our sin of omission.
For others, a dog-eat-dog may be not just a matter of fact to them, but their way of life. Unbeknownst to them, they are not merely robbing from just any individual, but plundering from scheme and foundations of justice itself, which is the very foundational platform of hope of the next generation. Clearly and cleanly, we do not want a perverse and predatory society at the scale warned by dystopian parable of the `Lord of the Flies`. There is no measure and meaning of health to be well-adjusted in a sick society.
It is because of human’s ability to cooperate and compound on each other’s effort, forte and leveraged vantage, that they were able to excel beyond their confines, built a primordial civilization to have been able to claim ownership of Earth. — Ursa, against Zero-sum
Many people might think being righteous is out-of-style, and it is not practical in the society we are in today; but think about how the society functions in the first place. The foundation is confidence and trust, before any establishment of trade and any form of transaction can happen. An animalistic society only begets us a vicious cycle of misery and untold suffering. This forms the pathological breeding ground for monsters.
Guarding Their Tabula Rasa
The Central Theorem: The Quality of Humans
It is hard to grow empathy in the midst of insecurity and fear. The amygdala should not be constantly be exposed to anxiety and trauma. Severe emotional inflammation will beset the growth of a person.
A safe ground for upbringing is a critical criteria for the condition for any healthy and sane human. While this may seem obvious, what we want to address is to assure such a condition to be mandated as a global indispensable human right which cannot be compromised. What is not obvious is also on how we can put the responsibility of this mandate on every member of the society.
The ultimate anti-terrorism panacea is not in waging wars, instead it is a wage for peace. The violence can hardly be ended today if we did not even start yesterday. The same is to be applied for the interventive care for violent individuals. Psychologist Alice Miller (12 January 1923, Lwow, Poland — 14 April 2010, Saint-Rémy de Provence, France) had the answer to which not many people had been listening to — she asserted that dictators, psychomaniacs, mafias, can all be eradicated if they had a loving childhood from the start, and if they had been living in an empathetic civilization.
The common person will push back the premise and claimed it as “impractical”. We like to know what each claimant had tried and how hard they had tried to warrant that claim. This, by itself, demonstrated another cause of the status quo we are facing today. A few people gave up too early to assert that the solution is impossible, while most people don’t even believe that it even exist to start. They are not merely dismissing that possibility, they dismissed themselves of being part of that possibility.
“雪崩时, 没有一粒雪花是无辜的”
No snowflake is innocent during an avalanche.
Most brutalized people cannot help themselves out of their situations because they lack the specific faculty in the first place. The neurological capacity may even be incapacitated by traumatic experiences. Depression, for example, is a form of learned helplessness, while rage may occur as an aftermath to manage the trauma. Subjects must be helped to acquire the analytical ability to understand and to overcome their situations, and to thrive beyond their confined contexts.
Being conversant with the theory is merely a step. To effectively become functional, they have to acquire long-termed neuro re-wiring to alter their ill-conditioned disposition. Instead of being self-enervating due to emotional inflammation, newly acquired mental reflexes will counter their paralyzing experiences of failure and rejection. However, the social ecology must be conducive as a criteria. The solution may be as simple as to say we have to build an empathetic civilization. However, the real question is — how do we get there?
Perfecting Mankind
Egoless and Borderless Civilization
The quality of civilization and the quality of human depends on the collective and individual human purpose. We are but intelligible beings forming attempting to organize mayhem without sufficient understanding of our existential functions and motivation. While many may want to remain the status quo of predatory greed and selfishness as their survival rule, it will curse our civilization to remain at Type 0. Hedonism at the expense and abandonment of others is the modern form of cannibalism.
To move beyond, we need to move away from zero-sum and seek a synergetic symbiosis. Human must learn to create a virtuous cycle to compound their progress forward.
The virtuous cycle must fundamental start from within oneself. In order for a higher order civilization, one must transcend to a higher order being — an Übermensch. To build a better world, we must be better human. The same way as to bring up better children, we need better parents. The core aim of life is to build one’s self-worth through virtues, not net-worth.
We need to focus on understanding science and accelerate progress. To push humanity forward, the society has to focus on relentlessly refining everyone and to find out the conditions that can create the transitions.
If you take away the basis or the condition that generates abhorrent behavior, you don’t have abhorrent behavior. — Jacque Fresco (March 13, 1916 — May 18, 2017), October 2nd 2011
釜底抽薪 (fǔ dǐ chōu xīn) : “Remove the firewood from under the cauldron”, eradicate or remove the leading factor or asset of a case to obviate the targeted effect. — 36 Strategies, Chapter 4: Chaos Stratagems
Production, consumption and distribution must focus on building every individual to the fullest and not for jejune pursuits. We must be brutally honest with ourselves. The human quality is everyone’s responsibility.
Humans have to acknowledge that medicine, food and clean water are part of human rights, and if human rights can be sold, the next commodity would be — justice, and likewise, it will be tagged with a price.
We know that we are not living in a civilization, nor have such ideals had ever came into reality. The world should not be run by a game of ruthlessness. If the world does not have ethics and a sense of shame, humanity will be degraded with regrettable end. Our education has deluded and lulled everyone into a sweet lullaby that we have come so far in human history. The worst fallacy is to convince us it was not easy to get to this day, and this is the best we can do. The most insidious lie is to tell us that it takes time to change as the excuse for apathy and cowardice. Education has not only failed to instill the moral courage and phronesis in us to solve real world problems, it has institutionalized us to persist in this perdition of such inertia of progress and reduce us to no more than apathetic, moral nebbishes. The root of all societal problems is human, it starts and ends from there. Therefore, it behooves us to work on the quality of the person itself.
It is clear that most present people have very limited sense of world view and foresight. They have been constrained and confined from thinking further beyond the definitions that have been given to them. This is, perhaps the most regretful and wasted opportunity for people who may have so much potential to push the human race onward and forward.
The human quality is central theme in education, where today, it has failed abysmally in either inspiring the students to dare in excelling the greatness in life, or to instill the pure curiosity in exploring the depths of nature’s mysteries. The society is mostly governed by fear of law and not by the quality of human character. The common result we have today is but myopia of the common man acting beneath his potential under the virtues of his/ her shallow views. These children in turn become parents who have no virtues which they can inherit. This becomes a form of vicious cycle.
We must seek to understand — not condemn. Detest the disease, not the patients. We have to deal with the negativism of the world, so that we will find ways to treat them. Remember, the child who will be a doctor or a serial killer — Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde — are the same person — but we get to decide before the future seals the history.
The next quality is to impart rigor reasoning and perspicacity. Hardly does education teach on the science of identifying the reasoning fallacies nor does it teach on the art of rhetoric. Without giving such fundamental tools of thinking, students would not be able to conduct any exploratory research or deep contemplation. The tools of thinking are perhaps the most lacking by which cripples the individuals from their autonomy of self-directed learning (auto-didacticism). Empowering with such tools, a complete and sound human can be free from the manipulation of mass consent and consumerism.
In sum, the aim is to engineer the human spirit, if the society continues to always put limits on whatever they can do, physical or anything else, it will seep over into all aspects of their life. It will spread into their work, into their morality, into their entire being. To turn the vicious cycle into a virtuous one, and eventually deliver the true civilization, we have make people faster, stronger, smarter, and most vitally kinder, having wider and farther perspectives to enhance the wider possibilities of bring forth a more advanced form of society which we deemed to be the true civilization of mankind. This educational approach, focused on perfecting mankind, may be that very vaccine for humanity to resolve and obliterated all the unnecessary and untold sufferings mankind has to endure today.
受暴者终究会成为施暴者 : The victim of violence will eventually become the perpetrator of violence.If we know this sociological mechanism, why don’t we care enough to stop teaching them how to manufacture violence? We can snuff out the amber before we complain about the forest inferno."""
摸摸自己的良心 (Everyone, examine your own conscience)Kim Jong Un's teachers and the people around him, when he was a kid, could have done something - but they didn't !Adolf Hitler's teachers and the people around him, when he was a kid, could have done something - but they didn't !Al Capone's teachers and the people around him, when he was a kid, could have done something - but they didn't !The next criminal is around you - yes, you ! What will you do - NOW? You ! Now ! Not others, not later. You ! Now !That was why I kept saying - Everyone is responsible - NO ONE IS INNOCENT. Check yourself first !- 2018-02.16
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Hitler was not a person, he was a phenomenon. A phenomenon not well understood will repeat itself again. - 2016-06.05Hitler, or any king else, to us, is not a person, it is a variable. Likely a sample, 1 of the ways, we can be building or synthesizing the future by constructing my students who will inherit and engineer the future. The ‘man’, the ‘machines’ and ‘methods’ will be made according to the designs. - 2018-02.18I wonder why people don't realized - that Hitler wasn't born, he was shaped. - 2017-10.21Sometimes when a person is sick, it may be because he caught the disease from the society he lived in in the 1st place. - Re: Hitler, 2015-11.14We don't have to fight monsters. We just make sure they are never brought up that way. - 2015-11.15Hatred starts from anger and aggrievances. Evil starts from evil designs. Evil designs came from evil intent. Evil intent starts from hatred. We can ensure evil was never born by addressing anger and aggrievances. - 2023-08.10
When an egoless and borderless world is determined, hope will break its first dawn.
不幸的人一生中都在治愈童年。
— 阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒（1870年2月7日-1937年5月28日）Fortunate people have their whole life protected and healed by their childhood, unfortunate people have to have their whole life protected and healing from their childhood. — Alfred Adler (February 7, 1870 — May 28, 1937)
Afterword
I have seen families with a long history of violence, and that violence breeds an ethos of viciousness. I witnessed how it steers and directs the fate of the family. My father was the immediate victim of circumstances. I worked on ways to break the vicious chain, and likely, I was trying to save him all along.
I’ll give it to them accordingly. And I guarantee, what I can give, most people cannot take. — AJ, 2002
Do not close your eyes even at the nearing moments of beheading. Keep your eyes open for space to make the escape. — Francis, Re: Words from the past, 1997
I was motivated to work with people with traumatic experiences, because, subliminally, I yearned to find the treatment to help people I cared about to walk out of theirs, even if they may not be around anymore, I would still desire to change that story for others. Perhaps, it is for my own salvation for my loss from those that I loved deeply while I seek solace.
I found that most rage reeds from fear and hurts. Fear taunts them to look back. Paranoia reminds them to watch their backs. Hatred has phenomenal memories. They are not power hungry to begin with but they are driven blood thirsty by their thirst for safety. Deep in them is a cry and plea for help. They do not want to be haunted nor hunted again. They want to forget, but they fear that their enemies won’t forget them. The same manner that my father kept muttering that war was still on, and it wasn’t over for him.
Sadly, from time to time, people disappoint them and revive their trauma, and rekindle their deep hidden fears. They fear for their safety and they fear the cruelty may repeat for the people they cared about. Every slight movement around them flags a threat, and they reach for their weapons. Their savory for violence becomes their comfort on the thirst for control and assurance, but in truth, they are fettered to their deepest fears.
Their basic need was for the sense of safety as they rally for justice and righteousness. It will come to a selfish realization that their deepest fears have taunted them to even relinquish their moral base to be both human and humane. Deep within many of them are hidden children, still being haunted by their past, whether by poverty, sickness, fear, hunger, and hurts. As I looked closely, what can you hold onto? I saw in a few, they still held onto simple memory artifacts, such as just a pillow or a childhood toy, but they are not mere simple objects, but emotional shields and soteria which they hide behind and as a form of desperation to hold on to their sanity.
I was born into a situation. I am like my first child, by nature, always happy, but being born to a damaged parent who was yet another victim of human strife. The reason why I am angry with selfish people is because I know how it is like being abandoned in desperation. I will find the solution. You caring for the world already helps. It gives me hope that not all people are carelessly uncaring. — Overhearing a counsellee’s conversation with K.S., 2015–05.19
They are hurt and they want to bear the right to detest, despise and abhor because they see themselves to have paid heavily for the hurts by selfishness, stupidity and bigotry. They had been abandoned. The hurt will want redress, and we cannot be surprised with the obvious, nor be surprised ignoring the obvious. They will come to get our attention if we do not tend to them. All we have to do is to heal them early. Prevention is better than cure, or tragic damage control with irretrievable, inconsolable damages.
When that guy from USA was talking to me, he talked about the movie Frankenstein. He told me the story saying that Frankenstein was made with the heart of a kind person and the mind of an evil person. He said that the movie was sad to him because at the end, Franky asks the doctor who made him… how he is supposed to live with conflicting interests arising from his kind heart and evil mind. I thought of the people you mentioned then… they are emotionally very weak and yet they have the brain of a soldier. Aren’t they like the Frankenstein monster?
… they may look strong/ stolid. But they are afraid, very very afraid of people hurting them and that is why their defense is up very fast when they feel insecure. And they feel insecure very easily whenever they are questioned or judged. What they need is a clear mind. — Roshu, 1998–02.03
What people get with violence is not respect… It is fear. People are forced to `respect` them out of fear and not admiration. They are not known for their achievements, but for their atrocities. They gain nothing but the blood of the people and the tears of their family — is that what they really want? — Roshu, 2003–07.01
Be aware not to be seen as forceful, as it triggers their defensive mechanism. They may misinterpret your objective as solely to force the fact that you are right and you are here to win an argument. Your responsibility is to be there for the reason to know what is right and to find out what is right for them. They are disappointed and disheartened. Resuscitate and put back a warm pulse back to their hearts. Give them hope. You are there to provide, else it’s a futile hope.
Behind every broken person, there is a broken story. - UrsaHow would you give people the situation and conditions to be able to choose the better version of themselves? - 2022-12.30